Get with the programme.

Evelyn: I'm saving my sweets until I get home.

Me: Saving...sweets...what?! 

Evelyn: It means I don't want them now so I'm going to eat them later. Get with the programme! 

I made up a word!

Evelyn: Mummy, I really like pigeons. 

Me: Yeah? What do you like about them?

Evelyn: They're really pigeony. *giggles* I MADE UP A WORD! 

I'll be good when I'm four.

Me: Evelyn, come here please, your face needs a wipe.

Evelyn: NO! It does NOT. I do NOT want to be clean.

Me: Well I would like it if you'd let me clean your face please because we can't go out like that can we.

Evelyn: I don't want to do what you say. I will be good when I'm four. 

Jokes

Evelyn: Mummy! Tell me a joke.

Me: Okay. Knock knock.

Evelyn: Who's there? 

Me: Little old lady

Evelyn: HAHAHAHAHA

Me: You're supposed to say "Little old lady whoooooo".

Evelyn: I've got one, I've got one! 

Me: Go on then.

Evelyn: I'm a silly cup! 

Me: Yeah I don't think you quite get this... 

Toenails and dogs

Evelyn: Mummy, do you think people like my toe nails?

Me: Yes you've got lovely toe nails. I don't see any reason why not. 

Evelyn: Maybe if I went in some squishy grass and they got dirty then people wouldn't like them. 

Me: Well I would. 

Evelyn: That's 'isgustin'. LOOK! A DOG! WITH BIG EARS! HE'S LOOKING AT ME!

*ponders*

If I had ice skates on my feet and hands, I could skate like a dog. 

I'm a princess don't you know?

Evelyn: This road sign says Princess Road East. Is it because I'm a princess? 

Me: Definitely. 

Evelyn: *giggling* Someone should make a street called 'Evelyn The Princess Street. That would be SO silly. 

Me: What about a 'Mummy is AWESOME' street? 

Evelyn: No, I want my princess street. 

Me: Maybe they should make you a 'Diva Street' too. 

Evelyn: No because I'm a princess and a princess only. *to a random woman walking past* I'm a princess don't you know? 

Keep your mouth closed, Mummy.

So we were having a lovely little walk in the sunshine, I was happily singing 'yellow bird' and Evelyn said, 

"You've got to keep your mouth closed, Mummy, so you don't scare people." 

Wave your hands in the air like you just don't care.

*while dancing* 

Evelyn: MUUUUUUUM! I'M WAVING MY HANDS IN THE AIR LIKE I JUST DON'T CARE. WOOHOO! 

I really don't care. Can I have some juice? 

Evelyn being cute.

Evelyn: It's all going to be okay, Mummy. You're my favourite person in the whole wide world. I want to get you a card that says that. That would make you feel better.